From the Ashes
by ficshun
Summary: Gojyo awakens injured, alone, in the middle of nowhere, and with no idea how he got there. When he meets up with the others, they find more questions than answers. Can Gojyo remember what happened before it’s too late? 5x8, slight 53 and GojyoHoulan.
1. Default Chapter

Title: From the Ashes

Summary: Gojyo awakens injured, alone, in the middle of nowhere, and with no idea how he got there. When he meets up with the others, they find more questions than answers. Can Gojyo remember what happened before it's too late?

Pairings: 5x8, Gojyo+Houlan, and whispers of 5x3

Spoiler/Other Warnings: Takes place after the Saiyuki manga-verse (or after Saiyuki:Reload anime-verse, but for the sake of this story Gojyo is still in the blue-vest-poofy-pants-ensemble, um not sure why ) Also directly after the movie Saiyuki:Requiem. Watch out for "bad" language, violence, and sexual situations.

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki, unfortunately. Bara is mine but she's not important, really. Un-betaed.

* * *

"Gojyo…"

The word reached his ears slowly, winding patiently through a drowsy sort of haze that muffled his senses. He distantly wondered at that - the languid, tired fog, which had descended upon him. His name had been spoken by a richly feminine voice, deep and smooth as plum wine. This, at least, enticed Gojyo. He began to imagine an alluring face, long legs, and petal-soft lips that formed the beckoning words and was almost impelled to shake away his lazy stupor. Almost. Gojyo assigned the feelings as affects of an all too familiar hangover and resigned himself to the fatigue that tugged at his limbs. He silently congratulated himself on bedding whomever possessed the velvety voice, a small smirk playing across his features.

"Gojyo, _wake up_!"

That was not so pleasant. Gojyo's smile faded as the words became impatient, insistent, and laced through with more than just a hint of annoyance. The unmistakable anger quickly dissolved his lingering drowsiness. Gojyo did not welcome this sudden awakening as it made him acutely aware of a lancing pain that enveloped his body.

With a groan Gojyo slowly forced himself to alertness, blinking to clear bleary vision as he swiped the back of a hand across his eyes. That small movement alone triggered a dull ache in his arm and a twinge of pain across the back of his shoulders. Gojyo breathed in sharply at the sensation, gingerly placing an arm to prop himself up from where he lay.

The hand meant to steady him sunk deeply into a considerable layer of soft yet stingingly cold snow that Gojyo hadn't known surrounded him. Not until that moment, he realized with slight surprise. Though his vision had returned, it took considerable effort to make out anything through the heavy screen of wet snowflakes battered by a swift and chill wind.

_Shit, where the hell am I…?_

Forming that single thought from his collection of disarrayed reactions seemed almost too much for Gojyo. It felt as though his mind was trying to claw its way out from within his skull, resulting in a sharp and persistent pain. He clutched a hand to his forehead, trying to ward off the headache and a sudden wave of nausea that accompanied it.

"Shit…" he said shakily. The bank of snow Gojyo was seated in had begun to seep its icy wetness into his clothes, his body shivered slightly in response as his buried hand went numb. Eventually, stubbornness won out over uncooperative muscles that complained with stabs of agony or unrelenting aches as he raised himself from the frigid bed. Managing to stay on his feet required nearly as much effort. Gojyo's right leg quivered unsteadily at any attempt to bear weight and slowly leaked hot, crimson blood from the back of the knee down his calf.

He looked down at the bank of icy snow painted with spattered blood. Pain suddenly flared once more across Gojyo's chest and back, forcing a hurt grunt from his lips.

_Damn, hope I wasn't the only one who got thrashed…I'd never live it down._

A flash of panic gripped his chest at the thought. _The others…where?…_He immediately regretted his unspoken words. _What if they're worse off than me? _

"Oi! Sanzoooo!" Gojyo tried to conceal the worry in his voice with his usual drawl, though it sounded strained even to his own ears. He managed to make the call obnoxious enough to elicit a disgruntled reaction from the priest, if he had heard. The wind blew in silent response.

"Hakkai?" Gojyo blinked away snowflakes as they melted on his long eyelashes.

"Monkey!" He had to calm down. He had to find them.

Gojyo swallowed roughly and cast his gaze further along the ground. There were no signs of footprints anywhere, neither his own, any of his traveling companions', nor ones belonging to the woman who had awakened him.

_A woman?_

Gojyo's mind swirled in his skull again and threatened to topple him back into the snow. Any fleeting detail of the woman Gojyo attempted to latch on to blurred and dissipated like ink in water. _Probably just wishful thinking._ He chuckled breathlessly. Too much cold had frozen his brain, or too much blood had flowed away from it. Either way, all he could do was stand there, laughing deliriously.

He realized that staggering through the snow in search of his friends would be next to pointless, in his condition. Gojyo clenched his jaw in frustration over his own helplessness.

"Damn it!" He really needed a cigarette. Gojyo fumbled through the pocket lining his blue vest only to find a pack of Hi-Lites crumpled and soaked through with blood and melted snow. He felt like cursing again.

As if to mock him, a thin swath of smoke made a charcoal-gray smudge against the sky. Despite his exhaustion, Gojyo immediately noticed the smoke trail, which disappeared behind a line of trees weighted with snow. The constant rush of wind carried the faintest sent of burnt wood and cooked food.

"Finally, a little luck," Gojyo sighed. He tiredly began making his way towards the only sign of another living person, careful not to upset his wounds any more than necessary.

Even moving slowly, the cold and the pain were hard to ignore. Gojyo tried to assess his injuries, too aware of the sinister, continual flow of blood. The hurt seemed centered around a set of deep gashes etched across his shoulders and down his back. He was going to find the bastard who had the nerve to attack him from behind and pay him back. Doubly. Gojyo grimaced and attempted to tamp down the rising anger he felt over the wound, realizing he was just as frustrated at himself for showing his vulnerability.

The slashes held a feeling of familiarity - the telltale ache of youkai claws raked across flesh. At the thought, twin scars beneath his eye twinged with remembered pain, an old yet never fully healed wound.

Before Gojyo could fall prey to contemplation, he was snapped back to snowy reality when his foot met with a shallow trench. Curious, he scanned the ground to find another long, parallel divot, which caused the snow to dip subtly. It was a road; at least, enough vehicles had passed through to create low ruts in the soil.

A memory slowly floated to the surface of Gojyo's thoughts: they had driven away from town that morning, down this road, he was sure of it. But there was no sign of Hakuryu's tire tracks, nor any others, only untouched snow. Gojyo glanced towards the sky to try to gauge the time of day, which was difficult with the heavy clouds sagging along the skyline. It was midday, at the latest, he finally decided; maybe it had snowed enough during that time to conceal any tracks. Maybe it wasn't the same day at all, he conceded gloomily.

_Think, Gojyo_…_Hakkai would be able to figure this out._

With a defeated sigh he continued his trek towards the promising trickle of smoke.

* * *

Gojyo wasn't sure how long he had been walking, long enough so that every halting step through the calf-deep snow felt more arduous than a round-trip journey to India. He was practically panting, clouds of misty breath hung briefly before dispersing into the frigid air that stung his straining lungs. Finally, Gojyo could glimpse the small town situated between low hills and clusters of trees. Only a few buildings lined the snowed-in road, the rest of the village stretched perpendicularly away into the landscape. Gojyo felt a tingle of hopeful excitement at the sight of the latest inn that had offered them temporary shelter and comfort. Its wooden sign, reading "Snow Blossom Lodge", hung from one of many poles used to string an awning in better weather.

_Just a little farther. Only a little farther_… He repeated the words more religiously than any mantra Sanzo had ever recited in his life.

The last few strides up the inn's steps and onto its wooden porch seemed practically effortless in comparison. Gojyo hesitated outside, briefly wondering if there was any way to enter, staggering and bloody as he was, without completely losing his last shred of dignity.

"Fuck it."

He pushed open the door and stepped into the lodge, empty except for a young woman who turned in response to his entrance.

"Welcome, how can I…" she began, her voice halting as soon as she saw the half-breed's battered form. Gojyo couldn't decide if he was more comforted by the enveloping warmth of the fire lapping eagerly at the hearth or the sudden rush of relief upon seeing a familiar face. The woman's sunset-red hair mirrored the firelight, her green eyes widening the longer she looked at the bloodied man before her. Bara - how could he forget?

"Hey sweetness, long time no see," Gojyo managed to wink and raise a hand in a nonchalant wave, he had an image to maintain after all. Though he didn't think it possible, Bara appeared even more startled, her lips trembled slightly before she replied.

"Who…who are you?"

* * *

Author's Note:

Well, there's the first chapter, hope you enjoyed it! This is my first venture into the Saiyuki fandom, I'm excited. Sorry for the cliffhanger-esque ending. I wish I could say that I promise I'll have the next installment up soon but, honestly, I'm not expecting to finish chapter two until August. I'm sorry! I thought I should give you fair warning. However, I have the entire plot planned out so it will definitely be completed.

Actually, this may be more like a prologue than an actual chapter. I promise more contemplation and action later on.

I was conflicted about rather to use "monkey" or "saru" – what do you think?

Feedback is always welcome and thanks again.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note:

Thanks for venturing to chapter 2!

For the sake of this fic, please assume that Gojyo and Hakkai have and still do sleep together. Naturally! Whether frequently or infrequently, I'll leave up to your imagination ;) Are they candid about their feelings towards one another? What are their feelings? I haven't decided yet...There will be more about this later on, but it might be good to keep that bit of framework in mind for this chapter.

If you don't remember what happened in "Saiyuki: Requiem" or haven't seen it, here's a little info: Gojyo wasn't stabbed by his "mother" or by Houlan (though she tried to!) as Hakkai assumes, but by Dougan disguised as Hakkai. This plays an important part in Gojyo's angst ;) My apologies if Gojyo's reactions are a bit confusing, but it's not supposed to be all spelled-out yet.

Similarly, it'll be a while yet before what happened in the beginning of the fic gets sorted out. Um, it's a mystery!fic? Not really ;) It's easy enough to follow the "timeline" though, right?

HUGE thanks to Sorchafyre, jaunt, and Marron-chan1 for reviewing and sticking with this. Many, many apologies for the ludicrous time between chapters.

Big thanks to Marron-chan for her input on Chapter 2! glomps

Enjoy!

(Same warnings and disclaimers apply).

Ch. 2

"Who…who are you?"

Goku organizing a hunger strike would have seemed only mildly more surprising to Gojyo at that moment.

"Who am I? Bara, what the hell-" A spike of pain tore through Gojyo's chest, stealing him of breath enough to communicate his abject disbelief. With a low moan he stumbled forward and clutched at a nearby table for support. Despite her confusion, the young woman hurried to Gojyo's side as he struggled to stay upright. Bara braced him with a steadying arm before gently guiding him into a chair beside the table.

"You look terrible," she observed, then added quietly, "Why do you know my name?"

Before he could even consider an intelligible reply, a door behind the counter swung open, admitting two men talking to one another in low voices. Their conversation halted abruptly upon sight of Bara and the injured half-breed. Gojyo recognized the taller of the two as the owner of the hostel – a stocky man with charcoal-black hair slicked away from his squared face. The other man was less familiar, young and handsome in his own right, if a bit skinny.

"What's going on here?" the owner barked. His hard gaze lingered stonily on Gojyo, an unreadable expression schooling his features.

"I don't know, he just-"

"I'm looking for the others I left here with," Gojyo interjected. As curious as he was to hear Bara's account, the innkeeper's flinty expression suggested that anything less than answering directly would produce unpleasant results. Gojyo then flashed an abashed smile and gestured towards his bloody clothes with feigned indifference. "Maybe I could get a little help with this too, ne?"

"I think he's hurt pretty bad, Yadon. He's not making any sense," Bara said with a somewhat apologetic look towards Gojyo. For a moment, the man merely stood and examined him, grimacing in either confusion or anger.

"Never seen 'im before in my life," Yadon ground out. It wasn't without effort that Gojyo concealed a resurging wave of surprise. His pride was beginning to hurt as much as his body, being so easily forgettable. "What do yer friends look like?"

Gojyo groaned dramatically to hide a curse and prepared to launch into an explanation when he abruptly stopped himself, exasperation giving way to suspicion. At every turn of their journey, countless attempts had been made to topple the Sanzo-ikkou - from mobs of incompetent club-wielding, sutra-hunting youkai, to seemingly innocuous innkeepers merely looking for some coin. Yadon could be the cause of his predicament, he simply had no way to remember. At the least, Yadon would have leverage in knowing their party was crippled. Gojyo nearly laughed at the thought of some backwater town with enough muscle to overpower them, but he couldn't shake the gnawing doubt. Couldn't stop worrying. They hadn't been traveling in secrecy lately, yet Gojyo was hesitant to broadcast the presence of a Sanzo priest, even if that notability alone was sure to lead him to the others. He reluctantly decided that describing everyone was safe enough, and may even amend someone's lamentable memory.

"My friends? Hn, more like the three annoying bastards I'm stuck traveling with. There's our esteemed leader - a pissy blonde, pretty enough to be a woman. Touchy enough too. Then the overly polite guy with the monocle, and the mouthy kid. No way you could forget him, he damn near ate everything in town between dinner and this morning." Gojyo couldn't help but grin to himself. He'd never pass by an opportunity to complain about everyone, especially free of a retaliatory shove or an ear-ringing slap of the paper fan. As reluctant as he was to admit it, even only to himself, he'd gladly accept such punishment rather than face his current situation alone. Gojyo's smirk slipped away as the two men looked to each other blankly; not even the faintest sign of remembrance registered on their features. Bara's gaze darted between the others before finally resting on Gojyo, she forced her lips into a placid smile despite the smothering tension.

"Look, you're obviously not from around here. Maybe you and your friends went someplace else."

"Quit fucking around with me! I know there's only one inn in this piss of a town." The outburst earned him nothing but harder stares and a sharp glare from Bara, anger flaring molten in her eyes. Gojyo realized that he was quickly losing any semblance of an ally in the young woman and tried his best to look contrite, if not entirely apologetic. He was frustrated, and hurt. Shivers of pain still crept across his flesh, as his head pulsed in agony. He considered getting patched up before pursuing his companions' whereabouts further but was determined to get some answers, so long as his body would allow. "Dammit, we stayed here last night. I can point out our names in the ledger."

He couldn't be sure of finding their actual names at all, but it was easy enough to spot Hakkai's ridiculously apparent aliases. Gojyo always knew when Hakkai had a hand in things, whether it was four "brothers" names inked in delicate penmanship, or a clean ashtray where haphazard cigarette-stuffed beer cans once were. Hakkai's wake was subtle, yet unmistakable, like new leaves scattered on the ground after a rainfall. Gojyo suddenly longed for Hakkai's presence. For his strong hands and warming chi to seep away the worst of his pains. An irritated snort from Yadon interrupted Gojyo's mental wanderings. The innkeeper – puffed up with indignation – had situated his considerable girth directly in front of his suspicious guest, looming darkly.

"Like hell I'm gunna let some _mongrel_ paw in my records." He literally spat the words; stray spittle clung to his mustaches, which quivered with barely-restrained emotion. Though not explicit with his contempt, Yadon's insult was apparent. As soon as he spoke Gojyo was on his feet in a rush of fury. He wasn't exactly sure how he managed to stand in the first place, but he strained to keep his right leg from collapsing as it screamed in protest against his weight. It was difficult to look intimidating while struggling to simply stay upright, but Gojyo stubbornly met Yadon's black gaze with a slicing glare of his own.

"We. Stayed. Here," he drawled impatiently. "This is the only godforsaken inn because the other burned down in a youkai raid last year. How else could I know that, huh?" Yadon clenched his jaw, demeanor not changing a whiff.

"Anyone in town could've told ya that," he grunted.

"You need more?" Gojyo jabbed a finger in Bara's direction. "Hell, I can tell you what her room looks like!"

_Shit._

For a moment no one so much as breathed; the fire murmured and emitted a soft hiss of splitting logs. A tide of emotions battled for dominance of Bara's expression. Her eyes widened with surprise, then just as quickly narrowed into dangerous slivers, brows drawn down fiercely. She opened her mouth as if to speak but found herself without words, lips working soundlessly. A single eyebrow quirked on Yadon's forehead but he gave no other indication of reaction. Gojyo flinched at a sharp laugh from the young man who had remained notably silent until that point; he'd almost forgotten he was there.

"Any _man_ in town could have told you that." A thin feral smile distorted the youth's otherwise handsome features into something cruel and ugly. Clapping a hand to his shoulder, Yadon's deep guffaws accompanied the man's malevolent sniggering. Gojyo mused that the man could've stayed on his good side if he'd only kept quiet and looked pretty, but he ruined all that the moment he opened his mouth. Then again, Bara was probably thinking the same about himself.

Any further thought was brutally dispelled when a tremor of agony gripped him suddenly. Gojyo clutched instinctively at his chest, his lungs convulsed sporadically as though his ribs were painfully straining to meet and interlace. A defeated groan escaped as he collapsed to the floor. His sight rapidly darkened, then eked out entirely.

Not for the first time in this life, Gojyo doubted his chances of waking up; whether because of the current inflictions carved throughout his flesh, or a knife slid across his throat. Briefly, verdant eyes and a practiced laugh flickered into mind, dowsed by the black wave of unconsciousness.

* * *

_Earlier…_

"Perhaps we should stop for a moment," Hakkai offered to staunch Goku's relentless pleading for food and a warm fire. Characteristically, Sanzo was reluctant to concede to the monkey's routine gripes, but he offered a rough grunt of consent and settled himself on a rock.

"All right!" Goku punched a fist to the air victoriously. "I'm starving!" He happily shucked his pack then bounded over to Hakkai to help with preparations. Despite Goku's show of enthusiasm, all four of them were physically exhausted and mentally weary. Not only was a brief rest prudent, but also painfully necessary. The small snowflakes that pattered harmlessly against Hakuryuu's windshield the day before had transformed into a full-fledged blizzard overnight. Dense snow drifts and laden slate-dark clouds marked the Sanzo party's morning departure. Slow and equally tiring travel followed. Hakuryuu had doggedly persevered on the near-impassable roads for a good couple of hours; Hakkai occasionally laughed or offered reassurances of safety whenever the tires slipped or their trajectory "altered" abruptly. Even this became impossible when they landed themselves and their Jeep nose-first into the remnants of a moderate landslide; not because of reckless driving, of course, the blockade simply cropped up unexpectedly. They opted to continue on foot and from higher ground, hoping to avoid ending up beneath a similar pile of bouldered snow and splintered trees.

The detour had led them through hillsides smattered with trees, which groaned with the weight of the snow on their branches. Their trunks creaked in the strong wind like old bones, threatening to topple. They had stopped near a rock outcropping that formed a narrow cave, which offered meager yet welcome protection from surges of frigid wind. Goku accomplished the seemingly impossible task of gathering enough dry wood to form a fire, then began to carefully arrange the kindling per Hakkai's patient instruction. Once a small tent of sticks was prepared, Hakkai looked for Gojyo to ask for the use of his lighter.

He expected the kappa to be directly over his shoulder, ready and eager to insult Goku's handiwork. Instead, he was perched on the ridge of the hill, solemnly peering across the white snow-heaped landscape. A particularly long trail of ash fell from Gojyo's cigarette; his breath billowed and melted amidst the smoke. He was brooding. Had been since the struggle at Dougan's lair a few days earlier.

However, none of them had come away completely unaffected. More than once, Hakkai noticed Goku attentively watching Sanzo as if the priest could disappear in the space of a blink. Sanzo himself was notably moody and quick to temper, more so than usual, but Hakkai couldn't confidently attribute such behavior to the situation with Dougan. It was possible Goku's blatant attention was rumpling Sanzo's robes - he always seemed keen to Goku in that respect. Hakkai was also all too aware of how uneasy he'd been after the encounter with Kanan's specter, though he had ample practice battling that ghost of a memory. He was unable to recall a single day gone by without an attempt to dispel her smile from his mind, or the image of that long knife sheathing itself deep in her bowels. He couldn't decide which had felt more glorious - seeing her gentle face again, or mauling that same face with a blast of chi. Then again, he didn't have to decide. All he had to do was smile enigmatically and let out a short laugh. That tactic had become quite versatile, useful really. So much so that the recipient of such an indecipherable expression quickly gave up trying to interpret its meaning, if they even tried in the first place.

Gojyo had just as many years of practice masking raw emotion, but the haunted shadow in his wine red eyes was as painfully apparent as the scars flush across his cheek. Smartly, none of them made a habit of opening old wounds by discussing such emotionally saturated tussles as the one with Dougan. Not unless something directly influenced acquisition of the sutras. During their brief drive to joining battle, Gojyo offered evasive answers and hedged on giving much information later, so Hakkai could only guess at what Dougan had dredged from his memories. He concluded, with little doubt, that Gojyo was visited by the cruel phantom of his mother. Few things could imbue such a look of helpless shame upon his friend as the mere mention of that woman. Hakkai was even more certain when Gojyo meekly requested he leave the deep wound below his ribs unhealed.

Hakkai had been ministering to the mostly superficial scrapes and bumps inflicted by what was lately Dougan, when Gojyo grabbed his wrist, halting his chi-infused palm above the injury.

_"Don't," he began then lowered his eyes. "Please. Leave it be." _

_"Gojyo..." He tried to replace the worry in his voice with level sternness. "You have no penance to pay." _

_"I deserve this, Hakkai."_

Gojyo had reluctantly allowed Hakkai to heal the gouge partially - enough so that he wouldn't bleed out or be in much real danger of aggravating his condition. Hakkai, equally reluctant, agreed not to tell the others, yet made it abundantly clear that he would fully restore Gojyo - willing or not - if the wound hampered his fighting ability enough to endanger anyone. Whenever Hakkai noticed Gojyo clutch absentmindedly at his side or grimace as Hakuryuu cleared a particularly large bump, he couldn't help but wonder if he had welcomed the blade into his body. It wouldn't have been the first time Gojyo's mis-assigned guilt and self-loathing led him to unflinchingly accept "due" punishment for his existence.

However, Hakkai could just as easily see Houlan's petite hand plunging the knife beneath Gojyo's ribs. He felt she was less than forthcoming from the beginning; disingenuous, if not all out working for Dougan. Hakkai's suspicions were somewhat confirmed when he found Gojyo with Houlan in the woods - her hair a spill of chrysanthemum red down her back. If she had been the one to injure him, acting on orders from Dougan or not, Hakkai had no doubt Gojyo would readily forgive her. Being a half breed molded his friend's identity, his hair and eyes inexorable from his self. Only another child of taboo could be fully sympathetic to his situation. Surely Gojyo sought this shared understanding, perhaps not actively, but it would be difficult to sever such a bond.

He remembered with a twinge of jealousy how emphatically Gojyo urged Houlan to remain safely in the forest, wanting desperately to protect her. Remembered the raw anguish in his voice as he pleaded against her self-sacrifice, and how he'd instantly withdrawn afterwards. With admitted selfishness, Hakkai hoped Gojyo was acting out of unresolved guilt towards his mother rather than wanting a keepsake from the half breed girl.

His contemplation was disrupted by a firm nuzzle against his jaw from Hakuryuu. The small dragon stretched his neck out from the nest he'd made atop Hakkai's shoulder, where he burrowed warmly under his cloak. He gave a querulous chirp and quirked his head, bead-like ruby eyes studied his face

"Ah ha ha, Hakuryuu, if you would please?" Hakkai smiled warmly and gestured to the crude fire pit. Hakuryuu obliged with small flares of breath until the smoldering sticks caught light.

"Finally! Any food we can cook up over this? Some sweet potatoes, or..." Goku chattered hopefully, mostly to himself, as he rummaged through their largest pack. Sanzo had since walked into the cave and lit a Marlboro. He stood unhurriedly smoking and surreptitiously warming his backside near the flames. For a moment Hakkai thought he'd have to call Gojyo over, or remind him that he needn't ponder away in the raw cold, but the half breed began to saunter towards the rest of the group.

"Look, I can see smoke from a village thataway," Gojyo said and pointed a thumb over his shoulder. "Instead of picnicking in this freeze-your-ass-off hellhole, I'll go on ahead and find us a real place to put our feet up." He sounded sincere enough and there wasn't much harm in his idea, but Hakkai ventured that Gojyo was grasping at opportunities to isolate himself. As if withdrawing during his pensive moods wasn't enough.

"It would be best to stay together, especially in this weather, Gojyo." Smile. "There's potential for another avalanche at anytime, or a visit from our youkai friends."

"Yeah, what's the rush?" Goku piped in a touch uncertainly. His deceptively young-looking face adopted the same shade of concern he wore lately when watching after Sanzo. Snow always heightened Goku's anxieties about being abandoned and left painfully, eternally alone. In fact, it was commendable Goku hadn't sunk into the same despondency that engulfed Gojyo, given the circumstances. Just as quickly as the wary look appeared, it was replaced by a toothy grin. "Afraid your antennae are gonna freeze off, perverted cockroach?"

"Shut up, chatty monkey, you stink like wet fur," Gojyo rebutted reflexively. His banter lacked its usual playful lilt, sounding more irritated than teasing. Finishing off a cigarette with a long, lazy drag, he flicked the butt into the snow and let out a languid sigh of smoke. "So what do you say, oh exalted one?"

Hakkai was relatively surprised that Gojyo was deferring to Sanzo, almost asking permission. It wasn't like him. Then again, everything about Gojyo was slightly misaligned since the clash with Dougan. If Sanzo was fazed as well, he didn't exactly show it, but he scrutinized Gojyo a touch longer than usual.

"Hmph. Do what you like." Whatever the priest was thinking, his averted gaze and casual smoking exuded pure indifference. At least until an almost imperceptible smirk pulled at the corner of his lips. "Besides, you have practice wandering off on your own."

Barely-concealed guilt and anger flared in Gojyo's expression, he shifted his weight uncomfortably. Even in so few words, Gojyo knew Sanzo was insinuating when he ceded from the party to exact his personal vendetta against Kami-sama. He knew he had been rash and selfish, possibly even jeopardized completion of their larger mission, all for the sake of two dead boys he could never hope to bring back. He was silently grateful for the lack of admonishment from the others. They inherently knew his regret was punishment enough. Hakkai drew a breath to say something, anything, to relieve the tension but Gojyo regained himself enough to speak.

"Yeah, guess I do." Though Sanzo had clearly gotten to him, Gojyo quickly dampened his reaction with nonchalance. Smirking, he took a step towards the blonde, and reached his open hand from the warm confines of his cloak. "I can try to get us some rooms on good looks alone, but that gold beauty you keep in your pocket seems much more irresistible."

"You are _not_ getting anywhere near the credit card, you witless moron," Sanzo seemed personally affronted by the very idea. He ground his cigarette into a nearby rock as if to emphasize his displeasure at the thought.

"And here I was trying to be nice. Well, have it your way," Gojyo threw his hands up in a defeated shrug. "I'll just find myself a nice warm bed and a nice warm body. When you guys get to town and there are no rooms left, you can thank your holy prickness."

If he intended to provoke Sanzo to argument, the priest was far from riled. He began to calmly tap another cigarette from the pack, completely disregarding Gojyo's presence. So with that, Gojyo turned away and trundled through the snow to the lip of the ridge.

"Gojyo-" Hakkai stopped himself; he didn't know what he could say to persuade him to stay, or if he should even try. Maybe this was what Gojyo needed - a short time away to confront himself. Without looking back, the redhead fanned out his hand in a small wave of response. Before long, Gojyo became obscured amid the relentlessly falling snow. His form melded silently into the icy wilderness, disappearing entirely.


End file.
